Petite présentation : Cryaotic est un Youtuber très connu qui a rassemblé énormément d'abonnés autour de vidéos sur des jeux, mais aussi des lectures qu'il fait, puis, plus tard, par ses propres textes...
Une grosse partie de ses fans est hélas venue sur sa chaîne uniquement parce qu'il était apparu sur la chaîne de son collègue et ami, PewDiePie (Le plus gros Youtuber au monde). Et cette partie (entre-autre) de sa fan-base ne l'adore que pour une malsaine fascination autour du mystère CryFace. Celui-ci n'a jamais révélé son visage, on ne peut qu'entendre sa voix sur ses vidéos. De petites minettes fantasmes donc sur les graves du gamer, et se plaisent à lui imaginer mille visages toutes plus mangatisées les uns que les autres.
Les rares informations qu'il aura laissé filtrer sur lui, sa vraie vie, auront toutes été trouvées, disséquée, et fantasmagorifiées par les fangirls en puissance. Allant jusqu'à écrire des fanfictions où sa vie est inventée, réécrite, où on va jusqu'à lui inventer une liaison yaoïste (homosexuelle) avec PewDiePie (qui nous aura au moins valu une lecture magnifique des deux garçons qui se sont bien foutue de la gu... de l'auteur en herbe, la rendant célèbre malgré elle), les fan ne reculent devant rien ; pas même devant les coups de gueule de Cry lui-même.
Pourtant, le jeune homme ne demande pas à être adulé, ni même vraiment connu... Il a pourtant un talent certain pour amener ses abonnés à entrer dans les histoires de ses jeux ou de ses histoires. Ainsi qu'un don certain pour l'écriture... C'est d'ailleurs ce que je vous (lecteurs imaginaires de mon c½ur) présente ici (et que je vous traduirais plus tard, ce soir, la flemme) :
What am I afraid of?
That's a common question I have heard throughout my days. What truly scares me?
This is what scares me.
Being startled awake in the middle of the night by the howls of your dogs. Their barks incessant and almost endless as you lay there in your bed, eyes wide and heart racing. The barking continues on for a time more until it lowers to a steady, but still prominent growl as you are left there wondering. You drift asleep, and it soon happens again. Glass shatters. The dogs are now silent. Footsteps.
Walking past the open door to your child's or little sibling's room as you are on your way to grab a drink or maybe go watch television. They are sleeping so you go in to turn off their TV and you notice their little chest isn't rising and falling anymore. They're stiff, cold, and lifeless.
Leaving your child in the care of a trusted babysitter. Going out to dinner and a movie with the significant other but finding the movie a bore and returning early. Opening the door to your home to find the man living out his sick, demented fantasies at the cost of your child's mental and physical turmoil.
Getting into your vehicle, all is fine and well, you drive to work and you take a turn around a corner with too much overgrowth blocking your view. Thud. Scream. Getting out of your car you find a mother screaming in a shrill as she holds her now limp, crushed child.
Living a life of normality, things come and go. Suddenly one things goes south, more follow, and you find yourself in a great amount of debt. Your once 'always there' friends curiously gone as you now find yourself homeless on the side of the road. People walking past you, ignoring your existence and treating you as sub-human, a blemish of society. Unworthy of compassion. Left to strive to get back into society only to fail again and again, destined to wither away in the end on a cold winter night under a bridge. The years pass and you're forgotten, no family or friends, just a human who lived, and a human who died.
Driving with your family to a concert, everyone's cheering, smiling, happy. Your sister and brother in the backseat, your mother to your left, you in the front looking at the window as you cross a 4-way intersection. Headlights. Crash. Blackness. You wake up to find yourself in a hospital bed, you don't know if you can move your body anymore. You soon learn your siblings didn't make it, your mother is scarred, battered and soon becomes numb from painkillers and anti-depressants. Your family shattered.
You're a child, growing up with a single mother who has been struggling to survive. You're still young and know that because of this your mother fails to listen as you tell her her new boyfriend isn't the man she thinks he is. The abuse begins. Unexplained bruises soon becoming highlighted as more join them. Your mother ignoring you still as she falls in deep with hard drugs her new boyfriend forced upon her, becoming but a shell of her former self just to feel accepted and 'love' from her new companion, forgetting all about you.
I'm afraid of reality. Not monsters. Not ghosts. Not impossibilities. I am afraid of the world in all of its honest terrors.
There is a lot of real horror in the world. The human mind being one of the scariest things on this green earth. Capable of the greatest things, and the darkest of any sins anyone's god may speak of.
It's nice to let go and feel a sense of fear from fictitious monsters and tales, but true moments of dread are all too common in our everyday lives.
We're just lucky some of us haven't had to live with them yet.
And if you have, I am so, so sorry.
Cry
Texte de Cryaotic (CryaoticMonki)
Je le traduirais plus tard...
CryaoticMonki, Cryaotic, Cry, What am I afraid of?, Beautiful text
